Friday, December 27, 2013

A little update and a big love

I realize I have not posted in a while. Between first trimester aches and pains and getting our house ready to rent, I'm exhausted! Like, I need carried into the house and need an IV to get nutrition so I can go straight to bed when I walk in the door, kind of exhausted. But I have it very easy and I am a dynamic pregnant woman. I had like 2 days of complete sickness, but still have kept the nausea to a minimum. I'm a lucky few.

As the second trimester nears, I can feel it. I can feel my energy rising, and my belly growing. I'll take whatever the first trimester throws my way, because God loves me.

Back when I had the miscarriage, that's when I felt God so near after I surrendered some of my thinking to his. He assured me that "there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning". I've held onto that since that devastating night. I knew my joy would come in the morning, because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God would make me the mother of children. I held to those promises.

And today I am 3 months pregnant with one of the biggest miracles I've seen in my life. Everytime I go to the doctor and see my tiny being inside of me, every time I see my growing belly in the mirror, and every time I have trouble sleeping due to this growing child, I just want to cry. I want to cry out to God for fulfilling his promises. I want to cry out to God in thanksgiving, in praise. Nearly every day I just want to cry, because I am so in love with this tiny baby, and I am so in love with the CREATOR of this tiny baby. I think about how Jesus was once this tiny, this minature person in his Mommy's tummy.

Every turn of pregnancy pushes me closer to realizing the sacrifice Jesus made for us. There's just something about carrying a child inside of you that makes you want to praise God with every breath. And I might just do that. :) Sometimes my heart just feels so full right now that it could burst. I don't even have words to describe how thankful I am to God for his loving kindness. He sometimes gives us more than we can handle, so that we can be led to give it to Him to handle. I think this time he has given me more love than I can handle, and I can't help but to pour it back out to him. I will never take this moment, this pregnancy, this child for granted.

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