Friday, December 27, 2013

A little update and a big love

I realize I have not posted in a while. Between first trimester aches and pains and getting our house ready to rent, I'm exhausted! Like, I need carried into the house and need an IV to get nutrition so I can go straight to bed when I walk in the door, kind of exhausted. But I have it very easy and I am a dynamic pregnant woman. I had like 2 days of complete sickness, but still have kept the nausea to a minimum. I'm a lucky few.

As the second trimester nears, I can feel it. I can feel my energy rising, and my belly growing. I'll take whatever the first trimester throws my way, because God loves me.

Back when I had the miscarriage, that's when I felt God so near after I surrendered some of my thinking to his. He assured me that "there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning". I've held onto that since that devastating night. I knew my joy would come in the morning, because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God would make me the mother of children. I held to those promises.

And today I am 3 months pregnant with one of the biggest miracles I've seen in my life. Everytime I go to the doctor and see my tiny being inside of me, every time I see my growing belly in the mirror, and every time I have trouble sleeping due to this growing child, I just want to cry. I want to cry out to God for fulfilling his promises. I want to cry out to God in thanksgiving, in praise. Nearly every day I just want to cry, because I am so in love with this tiny baby, and I am so in love with the CREATOR of this tiny baby. I think about how Jesus was once this tiny, this minature person in his Mommy's tummy.

Every turn of pregnancy pushes me closer to realizing the sacrifice Jesus made for us. There's just something about carrying a child inside of you that makes you want to praise God with every breath. And I might just do that. :) Sometimes my heart just feels so full right now that it could burst. I don't even have words to describe how thankful I am to God for his loving kindness. He sometimes gives us more than we can handle, so that we can be led to give it to Him to handle. I think this time he has given me more love than I can handle, and I can't help but to pour it back out to him. I will never take this moment, this pregnancy, this child for granted.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Call me Grinch

I just read a post from the garage sale site of a mother wanting others to donate presents (namely toys that she mentioned) to her 8 year old son for Christmas. Is it wrong to ask for a little help getting your children things they need, and sometimes want, for Christmas? No, not at all. But the end of her post stated that money is tight and she can't get many presents for her son this year, and that she really wants help because she doesn't want her son to lose the true meaning of Christmas.

And my heart broke a little. I have no problem helping families that need help for Christmas. But if a person is wanting presents so that their child doesn't lose the true meaning of Christmas, then they already have lost the meaning.

Call me Grinch. Call me a mean Momma. That's okay. My children will not be overloaded with gifts at Christmastime. (Except maybe from grandparents, and I can't help that one!). My children will get a stocking that includes a new set of pajamas to open Christmas Eve. My children will get 3 gifts in correlation of the 3 wise men which brought gifts to Jesus. One gift will be an outfit, one will have to do with learning (like books and such), and the third will be a toy. But accordingly, my children will select 3 toys of their own to donate to a child in need.

Am I bad Momma for not giving my children tons of new toys to occupy them at Christmastime? Am I bad Momma that my children won't sit on a strangers lap and ask for presents, or that they don't anticipate a real life Santa Claus leaving gifts because they are good? No, I don't think so. My children will learn about the real Santa, but he will be on the outskirts of Christmas. I will teach my children of Jesus, of why we receive gifts at Christmas in the first place, and how we can help those in need and make Christmas just as special for others.

Yes, we'll look at lights, we'll do a tree, but we will also spend time volunteering, shopping for others, and reading about our Savior.

I don't want my children to lose the true meaning of Christmas, but the true meaning is presents and reindeer, and about how much you get. It's about what you can give back to Jesus, how you can celebrate our creator. It's about humbleness. Is it wrong to give lots of presents and believe in Santa? Not necessarily, but I think if you aren't careful, in your attempt to keep the true meaning of Christmas, that you can lose it altogether.